Canadian National Exhibition

To go or not to go? That is the question. Every year I go to the Ex and spend way too much money playing games, riding rides, shopping and of course eating. Once the day is over I feel so disappointed with the experience, maybe I'm being too picky but I never enjoy it fully as I once did. I remember the Skyride, The Flyer the free loot from the food building and long for my childhood. Some may say that I just need to let go and enjoy but even my niece and nephew who are at the age I remember enjoying the Ex the most don't have that same sparkle in their eyes when they go. I think the taking them is more for us rather than them. I remember not being able to sleep the night before because I couldn't contain my excitement in going. My brothers and I would sit up for most of the night planning our day out. With all this said every year my nostalgia gets the best of me and I return to the grounds of the Ex to the inevitable disappointment but yet every year I am drawn back by memories and curiosity. If anyone is going, try and have a great time and I'll see you there!!!

What's The Deal

A few days ago we started the process of looking for a new place to live. We love the apartment we are in, but the landlord....well he's not the best landlord ever. In looking for a new place I've noticed how few places will take cats and or dogs now. When did this happen? There are so many people with pets. Every time I walk out my front door I see people walking dogs or in the case of one neighbour his cat. In my building alone (3 apartments) there are two dogs, two cats and a few fish. So if there are all these pets and seemingly all these people who love them, why is there so many places that say NO PETS? I just don't get it, the last time I looked for a place less than three years ago this was not a problem at all. Where was I when this pet hatred started? Did I miss the memo? I guess I must have, well back to apartment hunting.

R.I.P.

Today the news of the passing of my old friend Robert James Crouse was confirmed. My heart goes out to his family and all those who loved him. It is such a tragic way for a life to end and I only wish that Robbie could have seen how his friends (both old and new) banded together in the search for him. I imagine that if he knew how many people cared about him and his well-being things may have turned out a little differently. Too bad that turning back the clock isn't a option. I hope that Robbie has peace with himself now wherever he may be. Rest in Peace old friend our hearts are with you.

Robert James Crouse

Ok, so it's been awhile. This post isn't good news but I'm putting out there because I know this guy, well I did know him. We went to school together many years ago and he probably won't remember me, but I remember him and I hope that Robbie as we used to call him will find his way home safe real soon. Robbie if by any chance you are reading this, there are people here who love you and are looking for you. Just drop someone a line and let them know that you are ok, even if you don't want to go back just let someone know.

Robert James Crouse was last seen leaving his home on Saturday July 18th at 2am in the Coxwell and Dundas area of Toronto. Robert is white, about 5'8" and roughly a 165 pounds. He has brown hair and blue eyes, he was last seen wearing green pajama like pants, a black sweater with a FedEx logo on it and roller blades. Robert normally wears glasses but did not have them on at the time he left his home. If you have any information as to his whereabouts please contact the Toronto Police 55 Division 416-808-5500 or call Crime Stoppers anonymously at 416-222-TIPS(8477), online at http://www.222tips.com/ or text TOR and your message to CRIMES (274637). To all you Toronto bloggers out there please pass this along you can find all the information and picture at the Toronto Police Services website.

Pity Party?

Do you ever have those moments, or days where you think that you are completely alone in the world and you have no idea why? It's just a feeling? Maybe I'm crazy and the only one who gets this way, but the last few days have felt that way. I have people around me, a boyfriend, parents, siblings and friends who love me, (and I love back) yet right now I feel so utterly alone in the world. Normally this is something I would speak about with one of them, but something stops me every time I start the conversation. It's an alien feeling to me. I can usually spout off no matter what the situation, but this time the words fail me. This blog is different, it's almost as if I am writing to everyone and no one at the same time. My family doesn't know that this blog exists, it kind of gives me the freedom to ramble freely about them. Though with the exception of this post there is nothing on here that I haven't spoken to them freely about.

There have been moments these past few days and even maybe further back then that where I feel as if I'm an outsider in my own life. Correction an outsider when it comes to the lives of those I love. I have a brother who lives in the same city but I rarely speak to, not because I don't try but he's not much of a phone person and seems to never leave his house, or really want visitors. A boyfriend who until yesterday with the best of my knowledge had never lied to me, but now I wonder. I know he loves me, but sometimes that is just not enough. I'm coming to the painful realization that no matter how hard you try relationships don't always work even when you believe that you want them to. It has to be a two sided thing and there is a whole lot of one side working on this one. My parents are well, my parents. My dad has never been one for long talks or extreme closeness and well my mom has her life to live. And although I'm an important part, I'm not the ONLY part.

The thing is I can't even run to my best friends house and have a few drinks and complain about it all to her, because she is on the other side of the country. At the moment her life is really complicated (she might lose her job) and my problems seem like nothing more than petty. I'm going to work on shutting this pity party down, because it is not becoming at all. Then I'm going to have a major conversation AGAIN with my boyfriend and see where this once fantastic relationship is going.

Heads up..

If you live in the Toronto area here's a sale tip for you. Tomorrow the Proctor and Gamble Warehouse sale starts at the International Centre, go to the building 6 entrance. The sale runs from November 16 - 30 and is open from 10am-6pm on weekends and 11am-8pm during the week. I got to go today because some friends got invites in the mail for a pre-sale. There are tonnes of deals on Cover Girl make-up, diapers, feminine hygiene products, shampoo/conditioner, Tide, Mr. Clean, Febreeze, Bounty Paper Towels, Charmin, cat/dog food, Secret and Old Spice Deodorant. The stuff I got would have easily cost me over $150 and I got it all for $80. Once you are through the P&G sale there is an additional section where you can get clothes, linens, household items, and there is a large Neutrogena section with face wash and moisturizer super cheap, under $10 each. If you've never been to this sale go....you'll walk away with something for sure.

Why Remember?

"We must remember. If we do not, the sacrifice of those one hundred thousand Canadian lives will be meaningless. They died for us, for their homes and families and friends, for a collection of traditions they cherished and a future they believed in; they died for Canada. The meaning of their sacrifice rests with our collective national consciousness; our future is their monument."
(Heather Robertson, A Terrible Beauty, The Art of Canada at War. Toronto, Lorimer, 1977.)
On Remembrance Day (or Veterans Day for Americans) I had a few conversations with people that I work with, who just happen to be young. And I was baffled and extremely disappointed with their ignorance in regards to Remembrance Day. One even said to me "I don't like to celebrate war!" I must have missed the celebration part of this solemn day. I've never walked around with a party hat and a noise maker on this day. I use the day to remember all those who have sacrificed their lives for my country and other countries around the world. I think about my grandfathers who fought in the wars and lived to tell the story of their experience. I use the day to think about how lucky I am to live in Canada and be sheltered from the horrible events that surround a war.
I know that people are entitled to their opinion and they can choose whether or not to mark Remembrance Day in any way, but I think a kind of ignorance has set in with some people (not just the young). They have been either completely misinformed or are totally ignorant as to what this day represents. It saddens me beyond belief that this day is not in the very least respected by some. Whether or not you believe in war, it is out there and it has happened in the past and the men and women who fight these wars are braver then I'll ever be. To all of them regardless of country I say THANK-YOU and I give you the respect and admiration that I think you deserve. If you disagree with me that is fine you are entitled to your opinion and this with pride is mine.